Ramblings… On Food and Attachments

I was going to blog more this year. I really was. But something happened between homeschooling, parenthood, housework, and cooking. And I found I had just about negative five hours available every day for blogging. Unless I gave up sleep, then maybe negative two.  Where on earth am I going with this, you ask?  Well… I’m not sure.  I am out of practice on the blogging front and I am forcing myself to write something… anything…. today.  I’ve forgotten how to keep a train of thought and put it into an enjoyable and easy to read post.  Hopefully that will come back in time.  For now… I’m rambling.

Oy.  Where was I?  Oh yes, free time.

It’s really about the cooking. The food preparation. The grocery shopping. Eating gluten free, dairy free, soy free, sugar free, and yeast free is like a 24/7 job.  Plus, I’m one of those picky moms who refuses to feed her family pesticide laden or genetically modified foods, so I buy nearly everything organic.  So it takes A LOT of time.  Like fourteen grocery stores a week and at least thirteen hundred hours of cooking a day.  And I’m only exaggerating a little.. 🙂

Sometimes I wish food didn’t matter to me.  I wish I could get rid of the cravings and the attachments I have to aromas and tastes from my childhood and other experiences over the years.  But I just can’t let go.   They are a huge part of who I am.  I love comfort foods like chicken soup, pumpkin bread, home made cookies, and macaroni and cheese.  I love stuffed artichokes in the spring time and apple pies in the fall.  I love the smell of rice pudding baking early in the morning, or the scent of a huge pot of marinara sauce simmering on the stove.  I miss these foods with every season, every gathering.  I miss goat cheese pizza, I miss plain yogurt with bananas.  I miss Oreo cookies.  I miss ice cream and cheesecake.  I miss enchiladas and quesadillas.  I miss rice crispies and Cheerios.  I miss nachos with Velveeta cheese dip.  I miss so so many things.

Okay, I will stop whining.  Yes.  Food allergies are hard.  Changing from a typical diet is very hard.  Habits don’t break easily.  Cravings don’t go away quickly.  When I get overly frustrated and discouraged and feel like cheating, I start to think of the things I don’t miss, instead of the things I do miss.

I don’t miss stomach aches.  I don’t miss the nausea.   I don’t miss anxiety attacks and a belly so bloated I appeared 6 months pregnant.  I don’t miss Alka Selzer and Pepto Bismol and club soda.  I don’t miss staying home sick.  And when I get through this phase I am in right now, I won’t miss the fatigue, I won’t miss the confused hormones.  I won’t miss spending money on medication and supplements.  I won’t miss the crappy immune system.  I won’t miss feeling weak, and I won’t miss the constant allergies.

How do I make it easier on myself so that I can maintain a positive attitude and keep up with everything else in life in addition to my diet?  That’s what I’m working on now.  I’m trying out some new ideas…

and I’m hoping to share soon…..  nap time is over for today, which means my writing time is over as well.

ps. if anyone actually read this…. I apologize.  and I promise I will work on the grumpy rambling. 🙂